Ardor and Abstraction
by Darkest Desire
Summary: When all the world’s a stage, you need at least one thing that’s real to hold onto. An introspective one-shot featuring Harry/Blaise SLASH.


Summary: When all the world's a stage, you need at least one thing that's real to hold onto. An introspective one-shot featuring Harry/Blaise SLASH.

Disclaimer: I don't know if this is really necessary, but I don't own a thing except for the plot. (I should hope you already knew that.)

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ARDOR AND ABSTRACTION

It had started off simply enough. They had both been using each other. Perhaps they still were, though for different reasons than they originally had. They didn't love one another, nor did they hate each other. There was lust, desire, a passion that dominated their encounters and drove them to seek out the comfort of the other, or at least the physical gratification and delightful distraction they could provide.

It was something to take away the pain of their immutable existences. It was something to make them feel real again, feel anything. It was something to remind them that they were alive and that they could defy the laws that seemed to govern every other aspect of their fated lives.

It was ardent; it was fervent; it was tempestuous. It was everything that sex should be, though hardly ever was. But with Blaise…with Blaise it was different. He could let himself go, let himself be lost to the passion that burned so deliciously between them. He could allow himself to be swept away, forgetting his problems, his destiny, his curse, if only for an hour's time.

He didn't have to pretend to be the 'boy-who-lived,' the 'savior of the wizarding world,' the perfect little Gryffindor hero. He didn't have to guard himself, didn't have to hide the prevalent Slytherin in him that had caused the sorting hat to want to place him in that house. He didn't have to be good or compassionate, righteous or brave. He could just be himself, indulging in all of the human flaws that he, just like every other person, had.

Blaise kept him sane, kept him grounded, kept him from running away from all of the obligations that had been forced upon him and saying 'fuck all,' if only so that he could be with him one more time, could experience the burning ecstasy that coursed so freely between them. Blaise made him _feel_, made him realize what it was that he was actually fighting for. He almost made it worth all that he had sacrificed throughout his life.

Their encounters were worth the risks they were taking in having them. The consequences if anyone found out about them was something that he didn't want to think about. Mostly he was afraid that his time with Blaise would be harder to procure if anyone was to discover what they were up to. But that was only because no one would understand their relationship. No one would understand that it was what made him able to get up every morning and play his fated roll in the proverbial chess match between black and white, between Dumbledore and Voldemort.

It didn't matter that they were on different sides of the war. All of that faded away into a meaningless oblivion when they were together anyway. All that mattered was that they could keep seeing each other, keep taking each other away from the harsh realities that they had to face day in and day out. Together they could create a reality of their own where there was no good or evil, no light or dark, no right or wrong, just pleasure. Just the basest of human emotions that transcended all else.

It had started off simply enough. They had both been using each other. Perhaps they still were, but it didn't matter anymore. Maybe it never had. They didn't love one another, nor did they hate each other. There was just lust, desire, passion, and above all else understanding. The understanding that what they had was more real and meaningful than the parts they played, and would play, now and in the war to come.

--- FINIS ---

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with the way the fic turned out, but I'm glad that it's finally finished (I've had this floating around on my hard drive for quite a while) and I think it turned out fairly well. It's sort of vague and generalized and doesn't have any real Harry/Blaise interaction, but I hope you liked it still. Anyway, thanks for reading! ;) 


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